Hot Mess Mom

Contrary to all our awesome mom posts, no mom is perfect and each us has struggled with doubt, frustration and shortcomings. But most of us do our best and that's what counts. Right? Well, I have finally come to accept that I am a hot mess mom and you know what... I like it! It's actually quite comical! Go ahead and read on.

There are all kinds of moms out there! There’s the “helicopter mom”, ever hovering over her children as they live their lives. There’s the “list mom”, who gets things it done one task at time. There’s the “anxious mom”, that is always one mishap away from a total meltdown. Oh, and there’s me, the “hot mess” mom whose only daily consistency is tardiness and forgetfulness.

My Epiphany

In March, I finally accepted that I am a HOT MESS mama and you know what, there ain’t nothing wrong with that (excuse the grammar; it’s for affect). I mean I’ve spent so much time trying to be perfect, keep a perfect home and do all the things but nothing ever sticks. Actually, I have spent more time beating myself up for not doing those things and the countless other failures parenting has wrought upon me.

My hot-mess-momness is made of things like packing the lunch and leaving it on the counter. Forgeting the dance bag on the steps. Realizing much too late that I forgot to put lotion on any of us (the ashy struggle is real!). Or overreacting to something I could have prevented by being clear in my directions or better prepared by pre-planning. And I’m typically late or just on time for any and everything, including paying for trips at school, purchasing pictures, sending in items for projects or parties. I will run it down to the wire. [A dirty procrastination habit that I am currently plotting to overthrow!] Some days, I’m a full on dad and just nap while they play nearby, waking up in intervals asking what’s going on! LOL! So far, nobody has died and I’m pretty proud of that. Truth be told that is nothing but God’s covering right there.

Now, don’t get me wrong I am attentive to my children but I was nowhere near mentally prepared for these awesome people when I had them and I’ve been sort of playing catch up ever sense. And now as a single mom, WHEW what a mind-time-attention-growth coaster I have been on. That’s where the guilt and shame used to creep in and social media didn’t help with all the moms working full-time, working out, doing homework, reading bedtime stories, making breakfast every morning and taking weekly trips to everywhere land… I started to feel like a failure as a mom.

EVERY SINGLE MOM IS A HOT MESS MOM!

Reality!

Then finally I realized, EVERY SINGLE MOM IS A HOT MESS MOM! Or at least they all have their moments. You know the moments I mean... Blowups, spazz outs, breakdowns, “Run around in your underwear and rain boots with a pot on your head, see if I care” type of moods. Hiding in the bathroom for just 5 minutes of quiet or privacy. Or my favorite, “Oh goodness I forgot my child’s (insert needed item here). Oh, yes we have all been there and that simply makes us humans and social media is only the highlight of all the behind the scenes life that is going on.

All moms have a little bit of anxiety, list-making, hot messness within in her (some more than others) but as long as she has God more than any of those things she could never fail. –Psalm 46:5 While society puts a lot of pressure on moms and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, I gauge my parenting with 5 major things:

1. Are my kids happy? (Yes!)

2. Are my kids healthy? (Yes!)

3. Am I cultivating spirits of faith, love and generosity in them? (Yes!)

4. Do they know I love and support them? (Yes!)

5. Am I trying to improve daily and enrich their childhood? (Yep!)

So, BOOM!! I’m killing the mom game and so are you! So what you went to school with one sock on today. So what I took a bite of your sandwich as I was packing your lunch. So what we were the very last car in carpool for the entire first semester. At least you made it to school, buddy! That stuff pales in comparison to those five things and makes for fond memories and good laughs to embarrass them with when they start to think they are cool.

Now, here’s to hot mess moms, the love that drives them and the kids who love them!