Lord, Give Me Patience!

Moms and patience go together like steak and potatoes, right? Or are most of you like me, clutching on to your last grasp sanity when your kiddo lovingly calls your name for the 1000th time or does the EXACT opposite of what you just said.

In 2014, I began praying for patience with my children because we had just added a little addition to the family and I was tired to say the least. As the baby became a toddler and my marriage began to deteriorate, I prayed for patience even more. Why did I do that?

They always say be careful what you ask for and this is a perfect example. I opened the floor for God to show His sense of humor. Trust me, He's hilarious. Lol!

I say that because, after asking the Lord to give me patience it seemed like my children kicked their energy and general madness into super sonic gear. I was head-scratchingly baffled.

The Epiphany

After some discussion with my pastor, it dawned on me! I was praying for patience but expecting the change to happen in my children instead of in myself. Well, that clearly wasn't going to work. The only way to gain or achieve a patient demeanor is to exercise patience. So, when I started praying for patience, instead of filling me with the still calmness I had imagined, the Lord provided me with the OPPORTUNITY to be patient. Hence my offspring conspiring to rule my home with the super sonic madness I mentioned before.

After the realization that my patience revolution would be an inward experience having more to do with myself than my children, I had to use every technique I could think of to keep from going off the deep end over every little thing. Fast forward, it's 2018, I'm now a single mom (not to be mistaken with a single parent) and FINALLY I am able to exercise the patience I dreamed of four years ago. This is how I do it....

(hope you sung that like Montel Jordan, I did)

1. Proactive Parenting vs Reactive Parenting

- Instead of just responding to tantrums, disobedience, mishaps or what have you, get in front of the chaos with a plan. Have a plan for whatever it is you're hoping for. Be explicit with your instructions and upbeat. Asking your child to do something should not start grimly.

2. Run for Your Life

- Not literally but sort of. When all the planning in the world fails miserably in the face of a sugar raging kiddo, take a minute or two away and calm down. Pray, count backwards from 10 or 50, repeat a mommy mantra or anything that brings you to a zen place. Then reenter the situation with a Mary Poppins-esque swag of docile confidence. (added benefit: it just may freak your child out enough to calm them down.)

3. Fake It 'til You Make It

- When I feel the least calm, most ready to pop and there's no time to walk away for a breather, I simply breathe in and out right there. Then, smile and firmly with the biggest, probably psychotic smile ever, make my expectations clear. On the inside I am Atomic Bombing the lamps, but outwardly I'm as collected as can be. #fauxpatience

4. If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em

- Just by joining in on the chaos, noise or meltdown it relieves my own stress, catches the kids off guard and relaxes the overall tension. After that we regroup and sometimes its a little fun just to be silly with your kids. Those moments can be magical moments.

5. Alpha & Omega

- Saving the best for last, my go to strategy during homework time, is to pray aloud. I keep it short and sweet with a quick, "Jesus, help me!" It just encourages me to use the kind of patience God has had with me and to persevere graciously. If you think about it, it makes me a little more like Jesus and that's the goal, right?

By no means are these perfect solutions, but they work for my family. So give them a try if you're searching for the patience gene within yourself. Get to cultivating that fairy tale patience you dream of when your kids are nowhere in sight. Then, after a great day of exercising patience, enjoy a glass of red wine. You deserve it and it's good for your heart. Well, good luck out there moms and may patience be with us all!